Are we there yet…. now are we there yet…. how much further……….are we almost there now !!
Sound familiar ? This is such a familiar conversation for any parent who has traveled any distance with kids !!
As obnoxious as it is … there are a few things at play here.
First of all traveling with children is always at its best when they are sleeping !! It makes for a better trip and a way more enjoyable experience… why… because children are great at being someplace but they are not great at getting there !!
There is a mixture of anticipation of the destination… and impatience due to the length of the journey !!
Too often we are exactly like this as adults !! The kids drive us nuts with the non stop onslaught of questions about the arrival time and the complaining of the length of time it is taking. Unfortunately this is how most of us approach life…. Am I there yet?? ….. When will I be ?? …How much farther ? … Again just like with the kids on a trip there are two things at play here..
The anticipation of the destination or the impatience of the journey.
One of these makes you no fun to travel with !!
We traveled a lot with our kids and recall these moments all too well. I remember my husband rehearsing the phrases… you will know when we are there, the car will stop and we will all get out … you asking me isn’t making us go any faster… ask me again and we are just going to turn around and go home !!..on and on.. (wouldn’t trade those moments now for anything now !)
Why am I telling you all this!!
Because there is a huge difference between ANTICIPATION AND IMPATIENCE !!
The time to get there is your friend !! … it allows one’s mind to dream, to imagine, create, build new scenarios, envision the promise… The journey gives the time to build with anticipation as you go due to the addition of the process on the way … so that when you do arrive, you know how to be there !!!
Too often we are heading towards a goal or a destination and have no clue on how to be there, we are just so driven to get there … so when we arrive it is not at all what we thought !! We stand there with some great sense of accomplishment but with no PURPOSE or JOY… our whole thought process becomes just the arrival.
Do not misunderstand me … I AM A GOAL SETTER.. I BELIEVE IN IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY… BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT A GOAL WITH NO PURPOSE IS A WASTE OF TIME !! You get there and so what !! It is not what you thought… I have known more wealthy, supposedly successful people that have come to us as empty as the lost homeless man living on the street. The only difference is the address and the clothes. Both of them are lacking the Purpose for the arrival so the place they were was as empty as the place they left. Don’t get me wrong.. you can be anywhere and make something out of it.. but you should be able to arrive and see your tomorrow !!
ANTICIPATION builds over time and makes the journey exciting and the destination grand !
However there is a vast difference to anticipation and impatience… unlike children who cannot control the journey.. we do. So anticipation does not make us impatient.. we do that all on our own.
IMPATIENCE has no benefit to the journey or the destination. It is an immature response to not getting your way as quickly as you wanted it and is very difficult to be around. We expect this from kids who do not know what we know, but it is still very waring to travel with… but on an adult… it is intolerable to be around.
It benefits nothing and wears everyone else out around you. It doesn’t allow anyone who is traveling with you to enjoy their journey and fills their ears with your immature words of your journey. The problem with that is it leaves no room for them to dream their dream !!
Impatient people almost always completely control the atmosphere with they immature expressions of impatience and always accompanied by a barrage of complaints on the way !!
WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CHANGE IMPATIENCE INTO ANTICIPATION !!
This is an easy fix !!
LEARN TO DREAM AGAIN !! LEARN TO DREAM SO BIG THAT IMPATIENCE CANNOT COME INTO PLAY… BECAUSE EVEN IN YOUR MIND IT IS SO BIG YOU HAVE TO ENJOY EACH LEG OF THE JOURNEY… IT IS SO INCLUSIVE OF BIG THOUGHTS YOU ACTUALLY NEED THE TIME TO GET YOUR HEAD AND HEART AROUND IT AND MORE TIME TO APPLY IT !!!
This process will allow you to go places you would never have planned in your impatience… and build with an expectancy to make every new road on the journey and exciting experience...instead of just another road to get there !!
Not only will your life and joy level change immediately…. people will want to go with you ! How empty to arrive alone because impatience created a self absorbed atmosphere that swallowed up everyone around you !! Only a true narcissus would think that is OK… most people just don’t realize that when all they do is complain about how long it is taking… how boring the ride… how they can’t stand it… on and on … It is a consistent onslaught of … YOU…YOUR PROBLEMS… YOUR AGGRAVATIONS… YOU…YOU… AND OH YEH … MORE OF YOU !
IT LEAVES NO AIR OR ROOM FOR ANYONE AROUND YOU TO DREAM !!!
So if you are the impatient one… do everyone a favor around you and SHUT UP !!.. Next, decide to change to mindset and DREAM !! DREAM BIG !!
When you open your mouth let it be about the greatness of your dream and express the greatness of the expectation and anticipation of each leg of the journey !!!
JUST LIKE GREAT SEX…. ANTICIPATION CREATES AN EXCITEMENT THAT BUILDS TO A GREATER CLIMAX !! … SO SHOULD YOUR JOURNEY !!
Think about it … no one wants to BE with someone who complains how long it takes and has no vision for creative adventure !! GET IT !!
Dr. H
