The Life Dr.

I asked a question as the title of this post !!  Are you problem driven or solution driven… I cannot tell you how many people I have asked this question to while I was trying to help them out of a situation or grow them past a mindset !! Many..Many times the first thing they say is I am solution driven that is why I am here talking to you about my problem !!

My response to that is most of them were either deceived or just plain liars !!

Somehow society has convinced themselves that if they just talk about it .. it will somehow get better !!!  Not so !!  Just like the ones who felt the need to validate their position by merely coming to talk to me , this is not a valid position!!   Now granted you can’t get help unless you seek help with someone who knows more than you and how to solve your issue !!  That is definitely the beginning of wisdom.. But it is not the totality of it !!

YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER THAN TALKING AND WANT TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM OR ISSUE !!

I know that sounds too simple to believe but I cannot tell you how many of the people I have dealt with over the years that had no plans on working until they solved a thing !!  They simply wanted an ear to spill their hearts out to and relieve their soul !!  They talk for the sake of talking and have no goal in mind to grow past or solve the issue !!! THIS JUNK DRIVES ME CRAZY !!!  Many of you reading this today are like this and don’t understand why things don’t get better no matter how much you talk about it and even get supposed counsel for it !!!

TALKING A THING TO DEATH WILL NOT FIX IT !!!!

When you approach any situation or problem you need to have a goal in mind of solving, resolving, changing, repositioning or whatever it takes to have the needed result !! I have watched people for years rehearse the same garbage!! Over and over retelling their tells of woes !!  They sound like the old song from Hee Haw ...Woe despair and agony on me, deepest dark depression excessive misery… If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all !!!…Blah Blah Blah..

SOME ONE NEEDS TO DO YOU A FAVOR AND TELL YOU TO SHUT UP !!

There is an absolute need to get help sometimes with something that is just to big, to close or overwhelming that you need a true friend or someone who knows more about a thing. However, you have no business vomiting on everyone about the garbage you have no intention on changing!!!  When people start that with me … my words are… I DIDN’T ASK YOU ALL THAT !!!   For those of you who have people who do this to you… You can use that line..It works.. It will shock  them and make them shut up !!

If you are the friend that allows this and enables this, you are not being a good friend …for 2 reasons… one is that you are not doing that person any favors by letting them wallow in self pity and self imposed misery.  I say self imposed because there is nothing out there that does not have a solution !!! NOTHING !!  You just haven’t found it yet !  Second is what this kind of garbage does to the hearer is devastating !! Faith comes by hearing and hearing..and so does doubt, unbelief, depression etc..  If you have a friend like this bring it to their attention … Ask them when are they going to seek an answer not just rehearse the problem and when are they actually going to make the necessary changes to bring the resolution to pass !!!  If they cannot answer that with a Right Away…... GET AWAY AND MAKE A NEW FRIEND !!!  Friends unlike family you are not stuck with !!  You need to have people in your life that help you grow and you help them grow !!  But to have supposed friendships that just suck the life out of you….is destructive to both of you and needs to either change or end!!   Tight but Right !!

So for those who have a genuine issue or situation….SEEK AN ANSWER AND YOU SHALL FIND… AND WHEN YOU FIND A SOLUTION OR THE PATH OF THE SOLUTION…. WALK IT OUT AND SUCCEED !!  THEN REHEARSE YOUR VICTORY TO EVERYONE !!  THAT WILL BUILD FAITH AND HOPE IN ALL WHO HEAR !!

But if you are the one that has no intention of changing anything and find your value in being the pitiful martyr ….. Go somewhere else and spew…..

I love to help people and have given my whole life to it… but I refuse to spend one minute wasting my time with people who waste my time !!!

Dr. H